cassandra leigh
just you and me
together forever
no one better
gave you my heart
please don't break it apart
i want you to be here
so i can hold you near
put a permenant smile on my face
talking to you makes my heart race
this feels so right
want you here tonight
to hold you in my arms
away from all the harms
my beautiful baby
maybe, just maybe
there won't be an end
way more than a friend
don't care what other people say
i will love you each and everyday
my heart needs you here to stay
i never want to give you away.
i found this a while ago and it reminds me of a really great summer.
its interesting to look at how things turn out sometimes.
young love, it never lasts but its amazing while its alive and thriving.
just my thoughts for today i have so much more to tell but im too lazy =]
iloveyouwhoeveryouare<3
Friday, December 26, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Butterflies
ok i have a massive crush on this girl.
she is probably the hottest thing i've seen in a while.
and i dont care that shes a grade below me, everytime i look at her i get butterflies and when she talks to me i go brain dead haha.
My "little emolicious sevie" as kaleigh puts it lol.
so tonight was absolutely horrific.
it wasnt like terrible terrible but it was bad.
but on the plus side, mackenzie is kinda cute... =]
omigod. kaleigh michaela and ashley are turning me emo/scene over winter break.
im actually pretty stoked. its like extreme makeover emo edition lol.
buuuuut yea. anyways....=] god shes beautiful.
she is probably the hottest thing i've seen in a while.
and i dont care that shes a grade below me, everytime i look at her i get butterflies and when she talks to me i go brain dead haha.
My "little emolicious sevie" as kaleigh puts it lol.
so tonight was absolutely horrific.
it wasnt like terrible terrible but it was bad.
but on the plus side, mackenzie is kinda cute... =]
omigod. kaleigh michaela and ashley are turning me emo/scene over winter break.
im actually pretty stoked. its like extreme makeover emo edition lol.
buuuuut yea. anyways....=] god shes beautiful.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Iloveher
She makes me so ubelievably happy like no one else.
i love her.
she loves me.
i wish that was the end of the story.
i love her.
she loves me.
i wish that was the end of the story.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I LOVE HATE.
i am quite possibly the worst human being ever.
why cant i ever just be happy with what i have???
but nooo i have to go be jealous and catty. then pretend im hurting from it.
but in truth i am hurting. its hurts being me.
im actually like pretty positive im gay...because the thought of kissing my boyfriend REPULSES ME.
yea poor him.
he aint getting squat haha.
i really hate my life.
i hate that im gay/bi (whats the fucking difference?!? ILIKEGIRLS.) i hate that i always want more. i hate that by wanting more i pushed her even farther away towards that stupid whore girlfriend she has.
and i hate that she has so much effect on me. i hate that i love her. i hate that shes adorable. i hate that shes funny. i hate that shes sweet. i hate hate hate hate hate that she has a girlfriend that isnt me. but i hate myself because i dont want her to be with me. it would hurt too much because we're so far away. i hate that i dont want her to hurt. i hate myself because i dont want her to hurt. i hate that i keep doing this whole "if i cant have you no one can" evil villan thing.
i just want to crawl inside a shell and live peacefully without humans for the rest of my life.
IHATEMEANDMYLIFEANDEVERYTHINGABOUTME!
why cant i ever just be happy with what i have???
but nooo i have to go be jealous and catty. then pretend im hurting from it.
but in truth i am hurting. its hurts being me.
im actually like pretty positive im gay...because the thought of kissing my boyfriend REPULSES ME.
yea poor him.
he aint getting squat haha.
i really hate my life.
i hate that im gay/bi (whats the fucking difference?!? ILIKEGIRLS.) i hate that i always want more. i hate that by wanting more i pushed her even farther away towards that stupid whore girlfriend she has.
and i hate that she has so much effect on me. i hate that i love her. i hate that shes adorable. i hate that shes funny. i hate that shes sweet. i hate hate hate hate hate that she has a girlfriend that isnt me. but i hate myself because i dont want her to be with me. it would hurt too much because we're so far away. i hate that i dont want her to hurt. i hate myself because i dont want her to hurt. i hate that i keep doing this whole "if i cant have you no one can" evil villan thing.
i just want to crawl inside a shell and live peacefully without humans for the rest of my life.
IHATEMEANDMYLIFEANDEVERYTHINGABOUTME!
Friday, December 5, 2008
we'll call her Jen.
her names jen...not really haha =]
shes a year below me and absolutely freaking georgous.
SHES EMO. loveeee it =]
she has this amazinggg hair that she dyed black and her eye makeup is sooo hot.
basically shes like the hottest chick everrrr. and i heard shes gay...or bi...or somethinggg, i have no idea. anywayssss we had a pep rally on thursday (which was sooo much fun) and afterwords we were all leaving and she looks up at me and like not directly and changes directions completelyyyyy and walks righttttt in front of me and brushes my shoulder. i was like omgahhhhotttt. haha but yea im not getting my hopes up that shes gay or anything, shes just like really hot. lol.
and i sorta kinda really like this other girl who lives far away and shes dating this other ugly chick but we talk like we're together and stuff and she likes me better than her girlfriend butttt i still feel weird about it, i sorta feel bad...but not really.=]
shes a year below me and absolutely freaking georgous.
SHES EMO. loveeee it =]
she has this amazinggg hair that she dyed black and her eye makeup is sooo hot.
basically shes like the hottest chick everrrr. and i heard shes gay...or bi...or somethinggg, i have no idea. anywayssss we had a pep rally on thursday (which was sooo much fun) and afterwords we were all leaving and she looks up at me and like not directly and changes directions completelyyyyy and walks righttttt in front of me and brushes my shoulder. i was like omgahhhhotttt. haha but yea im not getting my hopes up that shes gay or anything, shes just like really hot. lol.
and i sorta kinda really like this other girl who lives far away and shes dating this other ugly chick but we talk like we're together and stuff and she likes me better than her girlfriend butttt i still feel weird about it, i sorta feel bad...but not really.=]
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
once again
*screen names have been changed.*
ok so she knows i like her and she still talks about regan like alll the time. i have prooooof. she had sent me the link to a video of her dancing (she irish dances, how cutee!) anywaysss
Lindsay (10:23:12 PM): and by the way, if you wanna watch other people in the videos, abby and mollie are amazing. and regans the girl i like xD
a little later after i 've watched her and regans videos, im saying this with so much sarcasm but she has no idea haha
HighTideSummers7 (10:30:47 PM): btw regans pretty good too
HighTideSummers7 (10:30:53 PM): shes a keeper
she fell btw thats why i was saying she was good =]
Lindsay (10:31:09 PM): she's gorgeous too
so yea i know i sound like a catty bitch but its just annoying.
butttt in her defense right after she said regan was "gorgeous" she said
Lindsay (10:31:30 PM): so are you by the way, i feel like you're always the one complementing me and you deserve lots too
apparently i compliment her a lot?
whateverrr. like i said im done with relationships and crap im just gonna love myself.
(and other people inside my head.)
(yes i know im crazy)
ok so she knows i like her and she still talks about regan like alll the time. i have prooooof. she had sent me the link to a video of her dancing (she irish dances, how cutee!) anywaysss
Lindsay (10:23:12 PM): and by the way, if you wanna watch other people in the videos, abby and mollie are amazing. and regans the girl i like xD
a little later after i 've watched her and regans videos, im saying this with so much sarcasm but she has no idea haha
HighTideSummers7 (10:30:47 PM): btw regans pretty good too
HighTideSummers7 (10:30:53 PM): shes a keeper
she fell btw thats why i was saying she was good =]
Lindsay (10:31:09 PM): she's gorgeous too
so yea i know i sound like a catty bitch but its just annoying.
butttt in her defense right after she said regan was "gorgeous" she said
Lindsay (10:31:30 PM): so are you by the way, i feel like you're always the one complementing me and you deserve lots too
apparently i compliment her a lot?
whateverrr. like i said im done with relationships and crap im just gonna love myself.
(and other people inside my head.)
(yes i know im crazy)
"SPLAT!"
My quick little poem for the day:
my heart used to throb,
when i saw ur screen name
it still does,
only now its out of pain.
So today was not so bad. colleen was actually in school today so it wasnt completely horrible but kaleigh saw the cuts i made last night and flipped shit on me. soooo yea but at least someone cares. thank god i have kaleigh. i wish i could show rachel butttt who knows what that would do to her, id say we're like sisters but we really are in every single way exept blood. i've known that kid since i was 3 and we've never run out of things to talk about yet. but shes very...its hard to explain, you just have to know her to understand why i cant tell my very best friend in the entire world that im gay/bi (who really knows) and that i cut... but i love her, i have more fun with her than anyone else in the world.
anyways back to my day...i had to play in my basketball game today and surprisingly i didnt do completely horrible and i wasnt nervous like usual.
i feel so odd today...idk how to explain it, its just like i feel weirdly calm and panicky at the samee time.
so yea. i really want to be able to talk to maggie again like i used to, but i cant. its just so weird actually knowing forsure that the wholeeee time we were talking and stuff she was probably saying the sameeee stuff to sam. and that hurts. a lot.
im so done with relationships. i hate getting hurt. i hate that i fall so quickly and so hard usually my landing is like in the cartoons when they fall off a cliff or something they totally just like splat on the ground. cuz thats totally how it feels for me.... im so gonna just die alone with like 57 cats.
is splat a word??? cuz now that im saying it in my head its sounding more and more wrong...oh well if its not it is now cuz i just made it up. so fuck a moose.
im hungry. im craving cheese puffs....
omgimreallyhungrypeaceout.
my heart used to throb,
when i saw ur screen name
it still does,
only now its out of pain.
So today was not so bad. colleen was actually in school today so it wasnt completely horrible but kaleigh saw the cuts i made last night and flipped shit on me. soooo yea but at least someone cares. thank god i have kaleigh. i wish i could show rachel butttt who knows what that would do to her, id say we're like sisters but we really are in every single way exept blood. i've known that kid since i was 3 and we've never run out of things to talk about yet. but shes very...its hard to explain, you just have to know her to understand why i cant tell my very best friend in the entire world that im gay/bi (who really knows) and that i cut... but i love her, i have more fun with her than anyone else in the world.
anyways back to my day...i had to play in my basketball game today and surprisingly i didnt do completely horrible and i wasnt nervous like usual.
i feel so odd today...idk how to explain it, its just like i feel weirdly calm and panicky at the samee time.
so yea. i really want to be able to talk to maggie again like i used to, but i cant. its just so weird actually knowing forsure that the wholeeee time we were talking and stuff she was probably saying the sameeee stuff to sam. and that hurts. a lot.
im so done with relationships. i hate getting hurt. i hate that i fall so quickly and so hard usually my landing is like in the cartoons when they fall off a cliff or something they totally just like splat on the ground. cuz thats totally how it feels for me.... im so gonna just die alone with like 57 cats.
is splat a word??? cuz now that im saying it in my head its sounding more and more wrong...oh well if its not it is now cuz i just made it up. so fuck a moose.
im hungry. im craving cheese puffs....
omgimreallyhungrypeaceout.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Take Me Away - Chase Coy
Take me away to January
I'm done with this year,
I'm tired of everyone here.
I just need some time alone,
Before I'm ready to come back home.
There's got to be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town,
I can't let this place keep me down.
So I tell myself,
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.
Take me away, I need the sand and the waves
The sunset and lets not forget those warm autumn days
I just need to get out of here.
And visit the coast just to see her.
There's got to be something else out there for me.
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream.
There's more than this Midwestern town.
I can't let this place keep me down
So I tell myself,
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can them it calling my name tonight.
Take me away to January
I'm done with this year I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home.
I'm done with this year,
I'm tired of everyone here.
I just need some time alone,
Before I'm ready to come back home.
There's got to be something else out there for me
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream
There's more than this Midwestern town,
I can't let this place keep me down.
So I tell myself,
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can hear them calling my name tonight.
Take me away, I need the sand and the waves
The sunset and lets not forget those warm autumn days
I just need to get out of here.
And visit the coast just to see her.
There's got to be something else out there for me.
I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream.
There's more than this Midwestern town.
I can't let this place keep me down
So I tell myself,
"There's a girl out on the coast of California,
There's a world out there and it's waiting for you."
And I can them it calling my name tonight.
Take me away to January
I'm done with this year I'm tired of everyone here
I just need some time alone
Before I'm ready to come back home.
imlosingmymind.
ok so i just cut for the first time.
and i dont even feel better.
i feel worse.
and i totally just wanna sit alone and cry for the rest of the night.
i dont know why this hurts so much. i dont even think thats why i cut.
basically my life sucks and im so fucking stressed out and i think this just pushed me over the edge.
and i dont even feel better.
i feel worse.
and i totally just wanna sit alone and cry for the rest of the night.
i dont know why this hurts so much. i dont even think thats why i cut.
basically my life sucks and im so fucking stressed out and i think this just pushed me over the edge.
The things in life i hate.
myself.
the color brown.
love.
myspace.
petroleum jelly.
breakups.
disappointment.
writing stupid stories.
annoying people.
naked brothers band.
sideburns.
people telling me what to do.
basketball.
relationships.
rubiks cubes.
little kids.
lying.
people misleading other people.
girls.
boys.
people.
sci-fi.
the color orange.
macys.
belk.
mushrooms.
life.
the color brown.
love.
myspace.
petroleum jelly.
breakups.
disappointment.
writing stupid stories.
annoying people.
naked brothers band.
sideburns.
people telling me what to do.
basketball.
relationships.
rubiks cubes.
little kids.
lying.
people misleading other people.
girls.
boys.
people.
sci-fi.
the color orange.
macys.
belk.
mushrooms.
life.
I knew it was coming.
so im definitely not as paranoid as i thought i was.
i knew this was gonna happen...and yet i didnt stop while i could.
way to go cassie.
you brought this one on urself.
ikindafeellikecrawlinginacornerandcryingfortherestofthenight.
i knew this was gonna happen...and yet i didnt stop while i could.
way to go cassie.
you brought this one on urself.
ikindafeellikecrawlinginacornerandcryingfortherestofthenight.
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