Allison Jones

soooooooooo. i havnt written on here in a long time. but. i really wanted to right now becauseee i just got home from the mall were i spent 6 amazinggg hours with my girlfriend. we've been dating for a month and 2 daysss :] it sorta sucks cuz she lives 2 hours away but its alright cuz she drives down every 2 or 3 weeks to see me, this was the second time :] but yeah today was amazing. we went to a movie and the first thing she did when we sat down was hold my hand. and she didnt let go the whole movie. we sorta missed the end tho haha because we were making out but whateverrr. she has the cutest little stubby thumbs lol. but yeah shes amazing and im sorta in love with her and im just in a really amazing mood right now haha. shes just amazing. we dont ever fight and the closest we had to fighting was both of us being snappy at each other because we thought we might not get to see each other this weekend haha. shes so easy to talk to and be around. she feels so right. we totally went into the back of this huge store and sat on the floor in the luggage dep. and just made out for the last 30 min. before i had to go lol. i know that sounds sorta weird but i really dont care :] i love how she'd come up behind me in a store and just wrap her arms around me and put her chin on my shoulder, it just felt so right. and she told me today that she loved me. i thought i was gonna die of happiness. we've been takin things pretty slow and thats how i want it. this relationship is pretty much making my life haha. everything seems to be falling into place. my grades are really good so my parents have been letting me do pretty much whatever i want. im just happy all the time and i know its because of her. and i wont say shes outta my league because shes not. she tells me so. she tells me im the one out of her league which is so far from the truth lol. she has the cutest smile too and just enough of a country accent to make me smile everytime she speaks. her eyes. oh man her eyes. i could stare into them forever. they're like this amazing green but if you look hard enough you can see a blue ring around her pupil. its just perfect. she makes me want to sing out loud and dance like no ones watching and all that other cheesy shit that love makes people want to do lol.

Allison Jones you have my heart, do with it what you will because it's yours as long as you'll have it.



so yeah i just had to tell someone, because i feel like im gonna explode from happiness haha, and if you're reading this, thats you :]

Allison Jones

Sooo. theres this girl. and her names allison. shes amazing anddd i think she pretty much makes me happier than i've been quite possibly ever? i really really like her. i get butterflies just thinking about her. and she makes the cutest facial expressions and they always make me smile. but yeah we met on saturday and i was so freaking nervouss. my legs were shaking sooo bad. But everytime i look at her i just cant help but think how lucky i am. i pretty much just love everything about her like her laugh and her smile and i feel like a creeper saying all this but i dont care. just like her personality in general is adorable.

Life Update

Ahhhhh! It's been so long since i've written anything on here soooo here goes a life update on me :]

So this summer has actually been pretty rockinnn, not gonna lie. I had cassie, then she was annoying and got creepy so i ended it, but she still tries to call me and stuff and its weirddd haha.

I made jv volleyballl for my highschool :] im one of four freshman that made it :D
(because im just that good) (that was sarcasm).

I've been traveling a lot in the last month and stuff sooo its good to finally be home for a while.

The beach was awesomeee our house was freaking hugeee! it was so much fun hangin out with my family, but it was even more fun hanging out with the kids next doorrr :D there was this girllll her name was Nicole (or Niki) and we sorta maybe made out haha.

Ok but on to what i really wanted to blog about in the first place! :]
(im going to change a couple things just in case anyone ever finds this haha) Soooo i've fallen so hard and sooo fast for this girl, who im almost positive is straight, shes on a team that i play on. (not telling which team and im changing her name) we're going to call her gromit. for reasons known to me, and gen most likely haha. But anyways shes freaking adorable. like you dont even know. shes in my head 24/7 like im constantly thinking about her and counting down til i get to see her again. she has the cutest smile in the world with these to die for blue eyes. When she gets nervous about something she looks at me with this face, she like squints her eyebrows and looks like shes concentrating really hard but yet its a worried concentraion and she just looks at me for a second and waits for me to talk, because she knows i'm going to tell her she's going to to great and not to worry. whenever we're like nearby each other we're always touching. like no matter what. wether we're standing or sitting but a part of us is always touching. i also feel realllyyy protective of her. like the other day we had a game for the team we play on, and some girl was knocking her around and i got so mad i told her to switch pos. with me and i walked up to the girl and said get the fuck off her and then i fouled her big time haha. gromit laughed so hard and was all like the girl had it coming and she was glad her dollface was so aggressive lmao. another thing, she calls me doll and dollface haha because i call her princess. i call her princess because im always doing stuff for her and shes always asking me to help her with stuff haha. i told her shes too needy and she goes, you love it. haha idkkkk. i sometimes think maybe there might be something there but im not gonna get my hopes up.

but anywaysss. school starts next week i think? and i'll be a lowly freshman haha. im pretty excited although i wont tell anyone because they'll be like awhh thats cuteee! i just tell them its whatever haha but im actually sorta stoked :]

all in all it looks like its gonna be a pretty good year so far, lets hope that comes true!

so anywayssss! thats my life as of the 17th of August :]
hopefully i'll write more soon!

asdfjkl;

BOO!
haha jk i know i scared you :P

sooooo hailey rose johnson get over yourself, you cant always have it your way.

everyone these days is so full of shit :D

ok good night :]

In her words : Losing the battle but loving the fall.

Wow. So shes sort of amazing...and beautiful on the inside and out. You know that feeling when something wasnt supposed to happen but it does and its something good? you might not. but i do. Shes basically everything i want. Shes as adorable as you can be with probably the best personality in the world. I can talk to her about absolutely anything all day long. Literally. We usually dont even stop talking unless we're sleeping haha. She talks me to sleep quite often and those are the nights when i have the best dreams and just wake up automatically happy. We both have this weird obsession/fantasy with Megan Fox (yum, just saying) We also loveeeee Harry Potter, politics, Transformers, Obama, CSI, Lord of the Rings, Legos lol. All that nerdy goofy stuff haha. I can always just be myself when i talk to her. I dont have to sound cool or smart or anything. Basically i've never been happier than when i talk to her, Shes always making me smile or laugh. She has this cute little laugh, and the way she says terrible haha. Im sitting her smiling just thinking about it haha. She also treats me like i actually matter. She isnt a complete ass like some people i know (if your reading this thinking omg im not an ass then its probably not you im saying in general like out of everyone in the world i know haha) she doesnt twist my words or play mind games with me or make me feel guilty. She makes me feel like i mean something and that maybe im not as terrible as i feel sometimes. And she wears spongebob boxers. that is just plain hot in general haha. Shes a drummer which is way cuteee :] shes reliable and sturdy and i know i can count on her to be there for me when i need her. i hope she knows im going to be there for her no matter what. so basically i've fallen pretty damn hard for this girl. i remember when i sort of hated her haha and she never fails to remind me :P im learning more and more everyday that shes an amazing, caring, sweet, funny, cool and basically perfect girl. shes everything i want and need. but also that i cant have :[ because she lives 4 and a half billion miles away. and it really hurts to know that i cant have her and that soon she'll have another gf and be perfectly happy without me. but until then shes my big strong tiger and im her cute little wallaby. and i love her. quite a bit.

p.s. did i mention she writes delicious songs about me?
p.p.s. did i mention shes hottt? :P


OH!
and she has extremely sexy abs :D

I WILL beg, I promise.

what the hell?!

i need you.
i also need you to stop hating me :[

please message me if you see this.

Her name is Cassie (ironically enough)

soooo i finally have a girlfriend.
its not anything like i thought it'd be.
she's sweet and nice sometimes, but sometimes she flirty and not so sweet and idk.
also shes lot like me so its really tough.
shes still in love with her ex an she told me.
aaaand her ex totally treated her like like shit like 6 times and they always got back together so im just thinking like whats stopping her from doing it again? nothing. i mean deff not me. so yea its really confusing, and i just want a girl that will like me- she doesnt even have to love me but it'd be nice if she was sweet and caring. i honestly just think cassie doesnt care. and honestly im not even sure if i do? i mean we JUST MET. and she was saying how much she loves me and all this stuff like 2 days later? yeaaa not for me. i dont know wether i should break up with her or try and see if we can make it work. im not sure if i care which way it goes either. i mean im not getting hurt like i did last time, thats for sure...
idkk i just im not sure if this relationship is a good idea.

more later probably.

hailey please stop hating me?
<3

Im Not Human.

soooo im very advanced. like im so far ahead of everyone these days. to me everything is so clear and it frustrates the hell out of me because no one else see's what i do. its like nobody knows what to do when life is not so great. everyone thinks that one little thing is the end of the world or they blow it wayyy out of proportion when really its not that big of a deal. everyone needs to just chill out a little. everyone needs to stop with the whole dramatic suicidal shit and be rational. so many people i know right now are all like "wahhh life sucks" life doesnt suck! life is fucking amazing! but nobody said it was all the time. if life was so fucking great 24/7 then it would be about as fun as sitting in an empty room with no windows, no light, and no door. life has to get a little sucky sometimes so that you can realize just how great it is when it is. life is exactly what you make it to be. nobody is going to help you if you dont even TRY to help yourself. if you want something WORK FOR IT. if someone's bothering you TELL THEM. if you got your heart broken then take an hour or so to wallow in your self pity and then you say to yourself I AM BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM. everyone thinks that they absolutely need someone to survive-NOT TRUE. why cant people be happy with themselves? be patient for love? because it's not human, and i am so clearly not human.

you tell me

alrighty thennnn.
so im blogging at the moment, not quite sure what i need to say but i was going to say something important haha.
so ill just talk randomly :]
so soccer started up again and im playing for a whole new club and im pretty excited :]
im glad im gonna get back in shape and whatever and make some new friends which sounds lame but i love meeting new people and making new friends so im excited and you can suck a dick:]

ok so that girl i was talking about in a blog sometime before this is history haha
its really sad actually. its like as soon as i knew i could have her i no longer wanted her.
how depressing is that, that maybe im only gonna want what i cant have?
and its even sadder cuz she like still tries to talk to me and flirt and i just have no intrest and i feel bad. :[

soooooo yea. thats my life currently, im surviving more or less happy.
if your reading this and you live in australia and happen to be really hot and gay and around 15 give or take 2 years then you should move to the house down tthe street from me as soon as possible:]

haha like thats ever going to happen but hey worth a shot :]

so tell me, how pathetic is my life haha.


ilovepuddingbyeeee:]

Ugly stalkers ahahaha

ok so there are these 2 girls.
and they like stalk me, seriously.
they go to like all my soccer games and one of them wont stop messaging me saying how much she misses talking to me (i stopped talking to her because she started acting really weirdddd but thats a whole nother story)
so yea im just thinking if i was gonna get stuck with 2 lesbian stalkers why couldnt they at least be good looking?!
does anyone else have that problem? i mean it doesnt necessarily have to be the exact same.
its just that i feel like only not very attractive girls are attracted to me and it kinda freaks me out cuz i dont think im that ugly, not that i think im hot or anything. and not that i think looks are everything but if your honest with yourself you know deep down they have to be semi good looking.
:]

OHMYGODJESUSCHRIST

so i am sick and tired of not being acknowledged when i play sports with mick.
i had a soccer game today and me and mick are def the best on the team not trying to sound like i have a big head but its true. so anyways im down at defense cuz we're winning like 6-0 and i overhear one of the 2 coaches on the other team say "well this teams good, they have one good player" and im like really??? i know they could have only been talking about me or mick and im positive they were talking about her because she scored a lot of our goals today, i did score tho.
and it just pisses me off because everyones always saying how good mick is at sports and blah blah blah blah. and i playy all the sports she does and then some and nobody ever says anything like that about me except my friends and family and stuff. it just pisses me off because everyone things shes so great and UGHHH it just bothers me!

well anyways.

im hungry.

peace<3happinesss.

ehhhh who knowsss

so im a little bit lonely, ill wait.
other than the fact like i really like this girl and it seems to be going nowhere my life is good at the moment
oh yea and besides the fact that my dad fucking blew up at me the other day for not wanting to do some extra math shit
i mean like he literally like blew up. it was so fucking scary and weird and idk.

but yea so this summer just keeps looking better and better and im starting to realize im like never going to be home which is just fine by me. my parents are never there anyways.

everyone seems to be moving on so quickley but its like times just taking its sweet old time with me and my life because it barely seems to be moving at the pace that i'd like it to be.

ehhh i dont even know what im saying i just miss soccer, i miss liz, i miss hailey, i miss everyone i used to be so close with even tho they've all moved on and im still here waiting to find the love that they've all found, not that i still like them, just that i need someone or a puppy haha.

mk so yea peace nigg <3

Hola :]

Stars feel like knives,
They tell us why we're fighting.
Storm, wait outside.
Oh, love, hold us together.

-Love, Save The Empty

anyways, im happy. like im always happy. me and my best friend are closer than ever and its great:] me and my parents are chill too. as the school year is winding down im pretty bored tho, just waiting for summer to come! my summer is going to be fucking-fantastic :D
mk so this is what im doing this summer. not in order tho cuz i have no idea haha.
WARPED TOUR!!!
BEACH
D.C.
MEGHAN'S HOUSE IN PHILLY (AND JERSEY SHORE)
COACHING FOR KICKING FOR HUNGER:]
CAMP CHEERIO!
HANGING OUT W/ RACHEL AND GETTING TANNN
yep so thats my awesome summer and im so freaking excited!

aaaaanywaysss.

so there are 2 girls. one of them i dont like at alll and shes annoying and she likes me.
the other is adorable, probably not gay.....and i sort of like her.

whenever she looks at me, theres always this pause and the look in her eyes is like a conversation shes trying to have with me, or shes tellings me things, im aware that sounds crazy BUT her eyes....they're beautiful. and shes nice and i dont know haha.
she always comments on my rainbow bracelet like every time she sees it she looks at it, looks at me, and smiles with those eyesss :]
i find myself wanting to protect her allll the time and wanting to give her everything she wants.
the other day we were joking around at soccer and i like fake high fived her and she laughed and was like
"ughh i hate you haha" and i was like "nah you dont hate me" and she was like "would you be able to live with that?" and i was like "hmmm...it'd be really hard"
and again she gave me that look with those eyes :]
then when we were scrimiging my friend liz wasl ike mauling her and just being really agressive and kept pushing her down. and i got so mad. im captain of the team so i was like liz lay off her! and liz was like what? and i was like you know what, cool it! and liz was like whatever and i was like wtf ill kick ur ass bitch. (in my head haha) and so she came up to me and grabbed my arm and started pulling me away then she faced me towards her and she was like cass, its okay really, im fine. and i was like dude shes after ur ass alll the time and she was like i know cass, its fine dont worry about me then smiled at me AND AGAIN WITH THAT LOOK.
and i like randomly find her staring at me and it always makes me smile.

so yea im rambling but, that look! im addicted. i keep trying to picture it in my head but i just cant.

oh yea shes dating this total douch giant. she could totally do so much better than him and im not even thinking me, just that she could do way better.

so yea soccer season is starting up again and im sort of exciteddd. i think im gettin a chick coach which should be fun cuz i've never had one before. besides my 2 school coaches which are really cool.

so i cant wait for spring break w/ rachel at myrtle beachhh :]

ooooooh yeaaaaaa i forgottt!
i've decided to tell jenn this summer at the beach that im gay.
i mean i figure she'd be most understanding because one of her best friends is gay.
so yea i have that to look foward to....=/

this summer is gonna be great and im gonna leave it at that :]

Why Do YOU Breathe?

Some people breathe to not die,
and some people breathe to live.

have you ever thought about why you breathe?
i did today. and i breathe to live. to enjoy and to learn.
so take a minute to think about why you breathe, it puts a lot of things in perspective.

that is all =]

im still here if you want to talk, i know you hate me, but im putting that out there.


XOXOXO
CASSIEEEE =]

Why am i always smiling now???

my life is fucking great thats why =]. i dont know what else to say except that im so happy for no reason. im finally back to the girl i used to be, happy, carefree, 100% me. its amazing i gotta tell you. i have no idea what the hell happened all of the sudden my life is great. i mean its not perfect, dont get me wrong. what life is tho? all i know is everything is suddenly right. i dont have a girlfriend or a boyfriend but right now that just seems best and im loving it. i dont like anyone and im not in love with anyone anymore. im over it finally =]. it seemed like right when i got over you my life started looking up...interesting right? i thought so too. but hey i dont have any hard feelings because i honestly just want everyone in the world to be as happy as i am all the time now. i mean even the weather has been soooo great! its so sunny outside and its perfect temps. lovinggg ittt =D my grades are good and my parents are happy and this summer is going to be THESHITTTT!!!!
omg its gonna be sooo much fun im so freakin excited!
OBX BABY!!!
(thats outer banks if you didnt know=])
and sooo much more fun crap planned andddd im gonna be a freshmannn!!! FINALLY!!!

ok i dont have much else to say execpt that im so happy at this point in my life and its probably the best feeling ever. i love life and everyone in it right now and im going to enjoy it =]

XOXOXOXO
The Original Cassie =D

This Is What Bliss Looks Like To Me =]

this has no title its just a lot of things that have been building in my mind.

i screwed up big time.
i've been sitting here for the past 30 min. trying to put my thoughts and feelings into a stupid poem. and its not working. because I dont even know what im feeling. i know that last night was a little bit extreme. and talking to a certain someone was no help. they're nice but just not what i need to hear. truth is im so fucking lost. me and elizabeth said we'd be friends forever. and look at us. we dont talk like ever we've drifted apart so much. i miss her. and now its happening to hailey and i. we dont even know what to talk about unless either one of us is having a "crisis". half of me wants to fight it, to stay close like we used to be, but the other half on me wonders if it's worth it. maybe us drifting apart is inevitable. i hate it. its so unbelivably unfair. to love someone so much and then wake up one day and realize it will never work. that you will never be together. theres so much insecurity inside of me that nobody ever see's or hears. the fucked up thing w/ long distance reltionships (with me) is that im so freaking insecure, and im always wondering "do they really love me?, do i mean that much to them?, are they interested in someone else at home and just have me on the side? so many questions that haunt the inside of my heart and my mind. i just need to have someone down here that i can be 100% positive about. and thennn when i find gay people that actually like me down here i dont want them, they're so clingy or just not my type. why cant i find my type? am i meant to just be alone? maybe... i have to know so i can just stop trying. i just dont even know anymore. everything in my life is great right now except the part that keeps me alive. sometimes it just doesnt even feel worth living, but i know that if i didnt live it would hurt so many people...
so yea thats my rant, i need a sign to give me some insight on life, but for now i keep living and search for total happiness.

Please message me if you read this, we need to talk but think about me before you say something, you dont know it but i hurt so easily...ill always love you, even as you go on living your life as you should <3

sigh.

ARRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
ICANTPUTMYFEELINGSINTOWORDS!!!
NONEOFITMAKESSENSE!

Drawinggg

Fuck You by Lily Allen (this is not to anyone, just a song i like)

Look inside,

Look inside your tiny mind

Now look a bit harder

Cause we're so uninspired,

So sick and tired,

Of all the hatred you harbour

So you say,

It's not okay to be gay

Well I think you're just evil

Your just some racist,

Who can't tie my laces

Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause we hate what you do,

And we hate your whole crew

So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause your words dont translate,

And its getting quite late

So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,

Do you get a little kick

Out of being slow minded?

You want to be like your father,

It's approval you're after

Well that's not how you find it

Do you,

Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?

Cause theres a hole where your soul should be

And you're losing control of it

And it's really distasteful

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause we hate what you do,

And we hate your whole crew

So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause your words don't translate,

And it's getting quite late

So please don't stay in touch

Look inside,

Look inside your tiny mind

Now look a bit harder

Cause we're so uninspired

So sick and tired

Of all the hatred you harbour

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause we hate what you do,

And we hate your whole crew

So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause your words don't translate,

And its getting quite late

So please don't stay in touch

Zzzzz by The Cab

And I'm up, down;
I'm spinning around
I'm high and dry, and kicked to the ground
I'm lost, and I'll never be found
My lips were much too shy
The lines about you, they never rhymed
And you said I never get things right
I never said I was the best thing for you
Baby, where'd you go?
I need you here tonight
Singing myself to sleep
And you're still my favorite melody
It's been three weeks
How long can this go on?
Singing myself to sleep
You're haunting every memory
Get out; goodbye.
Get out of my life.
Goodnight
And you're hot, cold
You're battering in my bones
You run wild
I lose control
I miss you
Forever you'll stay gold
And girl you know I'm not getting by
I've lost it, you're in my mind
And everyday's the darkest of my life
I never said I was the best thing for you
And baby, where'd you go?
I need you here tonight
Singing myself to sleep
And you're still my favorite melody
It's been three weeks
How long can this go on?
Singing myself to sleep
You're haunting every memory
Get out; goodbye.
Get out of my life'
Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling; I can't breathe tonight
End of story, I fade to black inside
I never said I was the best thing for you'
Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling; I can't breathe tonight
End of story, I fade to black inside
Singing myself to sleep
And you're still my favorite melody
It's been three weeks
How long can this go on
Singing myself to sleep
You're haunting every memory
Get out; goodbye.
Get out of my life'
Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling;
I can't breathe tonight
End of story, I fade to black inside

Being Forgotten

This is the first sign.
You are forgetting me little by little.
You have new friends, a new love and im so far away.
its almost not worth trying to keep.
who knows
we'll see.

Singles Awareness Day

Thats what today is.

valentines day is really depressing unless you actually have a valentine.

which i dont.

so.

it sucks.

i want a girlfriend. yes i know i whine about this all the time but lord knows its true.
i've been thinking... i really need to get a girlfriend not just want one. and i think the first step is letting people know im gay. soooo i've been wearing a rainbow bracelet and i've actually seen people looking at it. today in the mall this indian lady like glared at me haha i was like yes! gay hate! not that its a good thing, just that it means people are getting it =].

idk i might even give brooke a chance... probably not but shes nice enough. and she lives relatively close. most likely i wont tho. she moves way too fast. and she has a dick *cough cough* haha not that im against that buttt you know im not really into dicks...hence the LESBIAN thing.

Soooo yepp. now im going to blog about random things i like WITH PICUTRES!!!
heregoes.

RAINBOW SMOKE. NUFF SAID.

ARTISTIC PHOTOS/RAINBOW

BEING GAY =]
GOODTIMES.

p.s.
i cut last week.
not horrible bad just one semi long cut on my arm.
it felt so good.
=]

Favorite Quote of All Time

"When it comes to protecting you and being right, I'll be wrong everytime."

Tears.

Nothing makes Cassie cry.
Cassie has to be at rock bottom to cry.
Cassie has to have no other option.
Cassie doesnt cry.
Cassie is crying right now.
The End.

Quotes I Love

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows in alcohol, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.

That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.

You haven't seen a tree until you've seen its shadow from the sky.

Fate laughs at probabilities.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I have to pee like a racehorse!

Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

Imperfection is beauty; Madness is genius. And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

Heaven's not the place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive. So live for the moment. Take this advice, live by every word. LOVE IS JUST A HOAX, so forget anything that you have heard. Live for the moment now.

The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.

Get mad, then get over it.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Anger is short-lived madness.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Everyone is the age of their heart.

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved.

I'm so in love, every time I look at you my soul gets dizzy.

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.

Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.

When The Moon Fell In Love With The Sun

When the moon
Fell in love
With the sun
All was gold in the sky
All was gold when the day met the night

When the sun found the moon
She was drinking tea out in a garden
Under the green umbrella trees
In the middle of summer

When the moon found the sun
She looked like she was barely hanging on
But her eyes saved her life
In the middle of summer

In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer

She was just hanging around
Then she fell in love
And she didn't know how
But she couln't get out
Just hanging around
Then she fell in love

In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer

When the moon
Fell in love With the sun
All was gold in the sky
All was gold when the day met the night

So she said: "Would it be alright
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time
I give you this smile?"

So she said: "Hey that's ok,
As long as you can make a promise,
and not to break my little heart
And leave me all alone
In the summer

So they break the day in two
In a garden under the green umbrella trees
While we dream the wildest dreams

In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer

When the moon fell in love with the sun...

a random blog

so many thoughts running through my head.
i need to take something...
i need to lose myself for a little while.

so im going to write a list of things i like and that make me happy...

• HAILEYROSE
• MUSIC
• one of my very best friends, Elizabeth Rose
• alcohol
• canada
• cutting
• laughing
• eating
• watching movies
• playing guitar hero
• feeling special
• meeting knew people
• making new friends
• hugging
• kissing
• rain
• sun
• soccer
• sports
• running
• the ocean
• makeup
• SNL
• australia
• traveling
• good hair
• emo/scene girls
• transgirls hahahaha
• QA
• flirting
• being sure of myself
• being in control
• going out
• being wanted
• being loved
• loving
• other cultures
• sharks
• gum
• talking on the phone
• endorphins
• roller coasters
• jewelry
• skinny jeans
• super hero movies with my bestie =]
• making people smile
• illegal stuff =P
• shows/concerts
• screamo
• being yourself
• the word TRULY
• saying what you mean
• meaning what you say
• simplicity
• complication
• blood
• being crazy
• being serious
• sarcasm
• sharing
• fast cars
• gay couples
• football
• my ipod
• talking about myself =P

Breathing

Breathing means being alive so i can give you the biggest and bestest hug you've ever gotten.

Life Goes On

idk.
lifes a bitch.
it happens.
but life also goes on.
no one knows why but it does.
all you can do is hope that you have wonderful people there with you along the way as the world keeps going on.
i am in LOVE with a girl. its not happening any time soon if ever. life goes on.
she doesnt love me the way i wish she did. life goes on.
i want a puppy so bad i cant go to a pet store without crying. life goes on.
i wish i could sing. life goes on.
i want to live in Australia. life goes on.
my parents are workaholics. life goes on.
communication is soooo very hard. life goes on.
shit happens. life goes on.
I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED BUT I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY. LIFE GOES ON!!!
life goes on and so do you.


GODDAMMIT! ILOVEYOUBUTYOUNEEDTOBEHAPPY!

Quote from "Where is the Love" by Black Eyed Peas

"That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found"

i love you too much.
plain and simple.
yea it hurts,
but you cant get rid of me that easily.

LIFE RANT

Everyone that i truly love always has to go and make me miserable at one point or another.

everyone i end up truly loving i cant have.

i honestly believe im meant to die alone. or with a guy.

imfuckinggay. but nooo god has to send this gorgeously hot guy who actually likes me into my life who is absolutely perfect and fucking hot to boot.

and even tho im aware of all this im just not interested in him that way. but god he is so cute and so sweet and funny. all the things i want...INAGIRL.

YA HEAR ME GOD?! IM GAY!



and apparently a bit psycho.


so yea no one ever give me a chance they always just assume whatever they want and it pisses me the hell off. like colleen. she just assumes im always gonna be there to do whatever the fuck she wants me too. well guess what im fucking thru with people treating me like im indisposable.

the world can fuck itself. i've decided i dont need anyone anymore. i can live with out friends. from now on im gonna be a loner. im just gonna get thru whatever i have to and wait until someone worth me comes along. someone that treats me like im a human. someone who actually thinks about me and my feelings before they just.... i dont even know.

existing through these broken times
she stands in the middle of a massive crowd
all she hears is distant chimes
locked away inside her head
shes tuned out everything loud
she doesnt know where shes going or who with
as she looks to the future all she sees is a myth
she isnt happy with where she is
a boy so sweet but she doesnt want to be his
she wants some purpose in her life
until then she has her knife
to keep her company in the dark
the pain she feels is like non other
cold and numb
like a storm cloud here to smother
nothing in her head really makes sense
she makes it up as she goes
with her plastic smile for all to see
all she really wants is them to see ME.


worst poem in the history of poems but it makes sense inside my head.


i havnt found you yet whoever you are but when i do, you have a lot of pent up love for you that i should probably give to people but its comin to you because no one else seems worthy.

give me a chance to find love God. please. I dont care if you have to take something to give it to me. take it. i just want someone to love that will love me back regardless of who i am. because im not having a baby to get it like all those retarded teen girls do.

k im ranting and none of this even makes sense except to me so yea im gonna stop now.
kbye.

HRJ

I suck at poems so im just gonna say it.

You are such an amazing person.
You're there for my no matter what.
Yea you broke my heart, but you're the one here helping to heal it.
I know im whiny, and moody, and a pain in the ass, but you stick by me.
Only you can turn my completely shitty night into a good one so that i can go to sleep happy.
If not for you im positive i'd have a lot more scars on my arms.

You said,
I'm not perfect. I'll annoy you, I'll piss you off, say stupid things, then take it all back. But put all that aside, and realize that you'll never find a girl who cares more about you than me.

But i honestly believe its true.
you dont even think twice when i tell you i need to talk,
you take my side even when im probably wrong,
you tell me what i want to hear when i need to hear it
and what i need to hear when i dont want to hear it.

There has never been anyone that i've cared so much for and im so thankful to have someone like you in my life, even if its a million miles away.


I found this poem and thought of you.

A true friend is the one who picks you up when you fall
A true friend is one that won't lie
A true friend is there when you call
A true friend is there when you want to die
A true friend knows just what to say
A true friend won't care what other people think
A true friend will help you find your way
A true friend will make sure you don't sink
A true friend will help you choose your path
A true friend will know when something is wrong
A true friend has to sometimes face your wrath
A true friend makes you feel like you belong


Thank you from the bottom of my heart for stickin by me thru all this shit i call my life.

i love you.

Definition

Pretty girl, who is to blame
Frightened girl, they don’t know her name
Saddened girl, who cries at night
Distant girl, who’s out of sight
Psycho girl, with scars on her wrists
Fairytale girl, who don’t exist
Silent girl, without a name
Ignored girl, who’s filled with shame
Faking girl, with plastic smiles
Freakish girl, from a thousand miles
Emotionless girl, cant feel much pain
Darkened girl, who brings the rain
Crying girl, tears start to flood
Psychotic girl, who drains her blood
Hated girl, who no one loves
Such a weak girl, who’s no longer tough
Angry girl, there is no cure
Happy girl, she is no more
Hidden girl, she covers her scars
Prisoned girl, lived behind her life’s bars
Crazy girl, who bleeds so much
Lonely girl, who’s out of touch
Stupid girl, who no one likes
Beaten girl, who always fights
Pretty girl, don’t give up now
Suicide girl, there’s someway, somehow
Scared girl, don’t be afraid
Distant girl, don’t go away
Morbid girl, don’t die tonight
Worried girl, it'll be alright
Stoner girl, tonight she'll smoke her sorrow
Alcoholic girl, she'll drink tomorrow
Furious girl, who has no more faith
Depressed girl, who cries and aches
Fallen girl, with broken wings
Disturbed girl, fell off the swing
Pretty girl, you are my friend
Aching girl, just try to mend
Ugly girl, not like before
Beautiful girl, she is no more
Pretty girl, who made her life end
Pretty girl...no...not again...

Some Poem I Found

Lost in a world, that scares me to death,
Lost in a crowd I’m losing my breath,
Lost as a kid, lost as an adultI feel everything is falling apart and its my fault
Lost as a person, cant find my way
Lost in life every day,
Lost in worry
Who am I?
I’ve lived a Lie
Lost to Kindness,
Lost to Love
Lost in the sky,
Like a lonely dove
Lost in thought which I shouldn’t do
It Winds me up,
I can’t get through
Lost to comfort all kind words
Lost to advice that isn’t heard
Lost to those who really care?
All these people always there
Lost in Me, I need a break
Lost in wonder which road should I take?
Lost in a place I don’t know well
Where are you now? There’s no one to tell
Lost here all alone
To break these walls
Lost in mind
Lost in soul
Lost memories, there just a hole
Lost family, lost my place
Still yet I’m full of hate
Lost in boredom think I’ll leave
There’s a lot in life I need to achieve

I have no idea.

Being alone is the best thing thats ever happend to me.

this nite just went from good to absolutely fucking horrible.

i dont even know why the fuck i care.

whatever i dont need anyone or anything.






p.s. try and eat this shit up, because im force feading it to myself.

speaking of support.


btwww i think im gonna use this blog tonight as the person that i would be saying snide/sacastic remarks to.

what the fuck.

apparently my ex is fucking engaged!
well then.

this nite just gets better and better.

Passion

uhm. ihateguys.
i hate guys with a passion.
they make me so fucking irritated.

sooo yea.

guys suck.

=]


p.s. so do emotions.

Existing is rather fun

sooo right now at this time period in my life im sort of just existingg.
i've been feeling very anti social and lazy...
i dont know whats going on with me.
i guess im just waiting for some worth gettin off my ass for,
something worth putting a little effort into.

so i got to be pretty close friends with jordan and i was like head over heels for the chick
and then as soon as we hugged suddenly i was over it.
like the thought of her bored me.
ugh im so fucked up.

i still love my ex...and i hate the distance because idk shes just a few fries short of a happy meal these days and i just want her to be happy. im freakin ecstatic shes on a break with her bf. maybee it'll be like our break when she broke up with me and they'll never end that little break.

jesusss christtt i've been so cynical lately...its bad.

i want a girlfriend soo fucking baddd. its really sad actually. but i just feel like somethings missing in my life. i told my friend i felt that way and shes like "maybe you're missing god?" and im like shut the fuck up. haha.

on the bright sideee my mom might actually let me get highlights.
ill be getting red and im super duper excited. =]

i keep looking at the scars on my arm from where i cut, and i like them...i kind of want more...
which is sick and twisted.

i dont even know whats wrong, but i hate everything, and everything feels wrong, and i feel so alone.

i am alone.

i just need someone to hold me and just tell me to chill out and everything will work itselff out, that already knows evrything and not just the bits and pieces that i thought they'd be able to handle. but that'll never happen haha because im the one always doing that, im the one always taking care of people. i only have 2 people like that and one is waaay to busy with the new love of her life that she wants to be with forever haha and the other just needs me more than i need her right now and her problems are worse.

but has anyone ever thought about me? has anyone ever wondered if theres more to me than a simple smile? that would be a no. because no ones ever bothered to ask but i might not tell them even if they did so kind of redundant, no?



soooooo yea thats my life at this chipper moment.

cassie wants summer. cassie wants to move away. cassie is tired of all these peoples and places.

cassie needs a puppy.
or a baby............
ew too gay to make a baby, we'll stick with a puppy.