this has no title its just a lot of things that have been building in my mind.

i screwed up big time.
i've been sitting here for the past 30 min. trying to put my thoughts and feelings into a stupid poem. and its not working. because I dont even know what im feeling. i know that last night was a little bit extreme. and talking to a certain someone was no help. they're nice but just not what i need to hear. truth is im so fucking lost. me and elizabeth said we'd be friends forever. and look at us. we dont talk like ever we've drifted apart so much. i miss her. and now its happening to hailey and i. we dont even know what to talk about unless either one of us is having a "crisis". half of me wants to fight it, to stay close like we used to be, but the other half on me wonders if it's worth it. maybe us drifting apart is inevitable. i hate it. its so unbelivably unfair. to love someone so much and then wake up one day and realize it will never work. that you will never be together. theres so much insecurity inside of me that nobody ever see's or hears. the fucked up thing w/ long distance reltionships (with me) is that im so freaking insecure, and im always wondering "do they really love me?, do i mean that much to them?, are they interested in someone else at home and just have me on the side? so many questions that haunt the inside of my heart and my mind. i just need to have someone down here that i can be 100% positive about. and thennn when i find gay people that actually like me down here i dont want them, they're so clingy or just not my type. why cant i find my type? am i meant to just be alone? maybe... i have to know so i can just stop trying. i just dont even know anymore. everything in my life is great right now except the part that keeps me alive. sometimes it just doesnt even feel worth living, but i know that if i didnt live it would hurt so many people...
so yea thats my rant, i need a sign to give me some insight on life, but for now i keep living and search for total happiness.

Please message me if you read this, we need to talk but think about me before you say something, you dont know it but i hurt so easily...ill always love you, even as you go on living your life as you should <3

sigh.

ARRGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
ICANTPUTMYFEELINGSINTOWORDS!!!
NONEOFITMAKESSENSE!

Drawinggg

Fuck You by Lily Allen (this is not to anyone, just a song i like)

Look inside,

Look inside your tiny mind

Now look a bit harder

Cause we're so uninspired,

So sick and tired,

Of all the hatred you harbour

So you say,

It's not okay to be gay

Well I think you're just evil

Your just some racist,

Who can't tie my laces

Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause we hate what you do,

And we hate your whole crew

So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause your words dont translate,

And its getting quite late

So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,

Do you get a little kick

Out of being slow minded?

You want to be like your father,

It's approval you're after

Well that's not how you find it

Do you,

Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?

Cause theres a hole where your soul should be

And you're losing control of it

And it's really distasteful

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause we hate what you do,

And we hate your whole crew

So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause your words don't translate,

And it's getting quite late

So please don't stay in touch

Look inside,

Look inside your tiny mind

Now look a bit harder

Cause we're so uninspired

So sick and tired

Of all the hatred you harbour

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause we hate what you do,

And we hate your whole crew

So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you,

Fuck you very very much

Cause your words don't translate,

And its getting quite late

So please don't stay in touch

Zzzzz by The Cab

And I'm up, down;
I'm spinning around
I'm high and dry, and kicked to the ground
I'm lost, and I'll never be found
My lips were much too shy
The lines about you, they never rhymed
And you said I never get things right
I never said I was the best thing for you
Baby, where'd you go?
I need you here tonight
Singing myself to sleep
And you're still my favorite melody
It's been three weeks
How long can this go on?
Singing myself to sleep
You're haunting every memory
Get out; goodbye.
Get out of my life.
Goodnight
And you're hot, cold
You're battering in my bones
You run wild
I lose control
I miss you
Forever you'll stay gold
And girl you know I'm not getting by
I've lost it, you're in my mind
And everyday's the darkest of my life
I never said I was the best thing for you
And baby, where'd you go?
I need you here tonight
Singing myself to sleep
And you're still my favorite melody
It's been three weeks
How long can this go on?
Singing myself to sleep
You're haunting every memory
Get out; goodbye.
Get out of my life'
Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling; I can't breathe tonight
End of story, I fade to black inside
I never said I was the best thing for you'
Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling; I can't breathe tonight
End of story, I fade to black inside
Singing myself to sleep
And you're still my favorite melody
It's been three weeks
How long can this go on
Singing myself to sleep
You're haunting every memory
Get out; goodbye.
Get out of my life'
Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes
And I'm falling;
I can't breathe tonight
End of story, I fade to black inside

Being Forgotten

This is the first sign.
You are forgetting me little by little.
You have new friends, a new love and im so far away.
its almost not worth trying to keep.
who knows
we'll see.

Singles Awareness Day

Thats what today is.

valentines day is really depressing unless you actually have a valentine.

which i dont.

so.

it sucks.

i want a girlfriend. yes i know i whine about this all the time but lord knows its true.
i've been thinking... i really need to get a girlfriend not just want one. and i think the first step is letting people know im gay. soooo i've been wearing a rainbow bracelet and i've actually seen people looking at it. today in the mall this indian lady like glared at me haha i was like yes! gay hate! not that its a good thing, just that it means people are getting it =].

idk i might even give brooke a chance... probably not but shes nice enough. and she lives relatively close. most likely i wont tho. she moves way too fast. and she has a dick *cough cough* haha not that im against that buttt you know im not really into dicks...hence the LESBIAN thing.

Soooo yepp. now im going to blog about random things i like WITH PICUTRES!!!
heregoes.

RAINBOW SMOKE. NUFF SAID.

ARTISTIC PHOTOS/RAINBOW

BEING GAY =]
GOODTIMES.

p.s.
i cut last week.
not horrible bad just one semi long cut on my arm.
it felt so good.
=]

Favorite Quote of All Time

"When it comes to protecting you and being right, I'll be wrong everytime."

Tears.

Nothing makes Cassie cry.
Cassie has to be at rock bottom to cry.
Cassie has to have no other option.
Cassie doesnt cry.
Cassie is crying right now.
The End.

Quotes I Love

If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows in alcohol, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.

That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.

The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.

Passion makes the world go round. Love just makes it a safer place.

You haven't seen a tree until you've seen its shadow from the sky.

Fate laughs at probabilities.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I have to pee like a racehorse!

Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.

Imperfection is beauty; Madness is genius. And it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

Heaven's not the place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive. So live for the moment. Take this advice, live by every word. LOVE IS JUST A HOAX, so forget anything that you have heard. Live for the moment now.

The easiest way to keep a secret is without help.

Get mad, then get over it.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Anger is short-lived madness.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Everyone is the age of their heart.

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.

How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved.

I'm so in love, every time I look at you my soul gets dizzy.

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

You learn to like someone when you find out what makes them laugh, but you can never truly love someone until you find out what makes them cry.

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.

Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.

When The Moon Fell In Love With The Sun

When the moon
Fell in love
With the sun
All was gold in the sky
All was gold when the day met the night

When the sun found the moon
She was drinking tea out in a garden
Under the green umbrella trees
In the middle of summer

When the moon found the sun
She looked like she was barely hanging on
But her eyes saved her life
In the middle of summer

In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer

She was just hanging around
Then she fell in love
And she didn't know how
But she couln't get out
Just hanging around
Then she fell in love

In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer

When the moon
Fell in love With the sun
All was gold in the sky
All was gold when the day met the night

So she said: "Would it be alright
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time
I give you this smile?"

So she said: "Hey that's ok,
As long as you can make a promise,
and not to break my little heart
And leave me all alone
In the summer

So they break the day in two
In a garden under the green umbrella trees
While we dream the wildest dreams

In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer
In the middle of summer

When the moon fell in love with the sun...

a random blog

so many thoughts running through my head.
i need to take something...
i need to lose myself for a little while.

so im going to write a list of things i like and that make me happy...

• HAILEYROSE
• MUSIC
• one of my very best friends, Elizabeth Rose
• alcohol
• canada
• cutting
• laughing
• eating
• watching movies
• playing guitar hero
• feeling special
• meeting knew people
• making new friends
• hugging
• kissing
• rain
• sun
• soccer
• sports
• running
• the ocean
• makeup
• SNL
• australia
• traveling
• good hair
• emo/scene girls
• transgirls hahahaha
• QA
• flirting
• being sure of myself
• being in control
• going out
• being wanted
• being loved
• loving
• other cultures
• sharks
• gum
• talking on the phone
• endorphins
• roller coasters
• jewelry
• skinny jeans
• super hero movies with my bestie =]
• making people smile
• illegal stuff =P
• shows/concerts
• screamo
• being yourself
• the word TRULY
• saying what you mean
• meaning what you say
• simplicity
• complication
• blood
• being crazy
• being serious
• sarcasm
• sharing
• fast cars
• gay couples
• football
• my ipod
• talking about myself =P

Breathing

Breathing means being alive so i can give you the biggest and bestest hug you've ever gotten.

Life Goes On

idk.
lifes a bitch.
it happens.
but life also goes on.
no one knows why but it does.
all you can do is hope that you have wonderful people there with you along the way as the world keeps going on.
i am in LOVE with a girl. its not happening any time soon if ever. life goes on.
she doesnt love me the way i wish she did. life goes on.
i want a puppy so bad i cant go to a pet store without crying. life goes on.
i wish i could sing. life goes on.
i want to live in Australia. life goes on.
my parents are workaholics. life goes on.
communication is soooo very hard. life goes on.
shit happens. life goes on.
I AM FUCKING EXHAUSTED BUT I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY. LIFE GOES ON!!!
life goes on and so do you.


GODDAMMIT! ILOVEYOUBUTYOUNEEDTOBEHAPPY!

Quote from "Where is the Love" by Black Eyed Peas

"That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found"